Curiosity

I watch him from the corner of the mess where I have retreated to eat in perpetual silence with Garrus. The Turian is about the only one I can trust, but he fails to hold my attention as I watch Thane unwavering.

He’s sat alone, at another table, his hands folded, watching the comings and goings of the crew as they pass by.

Human and drell relations complex. Thane also complex.

Mordin’s voice rattles in my head as I draw my teeth over my bottom lip – complex is right. Thane is all kinds of complex, but I still can’t help being curious… of wondering…

“You going to eat that now you’ve drooled all over it?” Garrus asks and I jerk my head round, amber ringlets bouncing in front of my eyes as my curls settle against my face again.

“What?” I ask him and he smiles at me, his mandibles twitching with humour.

“You haven’t looked at that pie half as long or lovingly as you have that Drell sat over there.”

I scowl at him, digging a fork into the pastry to satisfy him and make a show of scooping a bite into my mouth “Happy?” I ask him, between chews and he chuckles.

“Why don’t you go and talk to him Shepard.” Garrus says gently and I feel myself bristle.

“Because.” I begin, but I can’t actually find a good reason to back it up and so I make a huff noise, flicking my hair and snorting at him “I don’t need to answer you Vakarian.” I retort hotly and he chuckles, cocking his head to the side.

“I bet he wants to talk to you.” He adds, and he knows he has me then – can see the anticipation on my tongue and I hate him for it.

“Did he say something?” I ask, and Garrus shrugs, he has the upper hand now and he is enjoying it. “Fuck you.” I grind out, pushing my chair back and getting to my feet. I push my plate toward him, the lemon meringue pie barely touched. “Have some pie.” I smirk “Might give you diarrhoea and I can sleep happy.”

I push away from the mess, pointedly avoiding Thane’s table as I slip into the elevator and hit the button for my floor. What the hell am I doing daydreaming about an alien? Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more messed up.

But it’s not like Thane comes across that way to me; when I look at him I don’t see a drell – I see Thane. Someone who, somehow, has managed to pull something out of me I thought was long dead.

Faith.

But it’s a stupid idea right? I mean I don’t want rashes – jeez, had enough of that shit in college – and hallucinations from oral contact? Sounds like something best avoided – and now I am seriously hoping Mordin was talking about kissing…

And when I think of kissing, I can’t help but see the way his mouth curves when he looks at me, the gentle rise of his full green lips. I imagine he is what the frog looks like when it turns into a prince. I imagine what those lips must feel like…

But that’s a stupid fantasy. Damn, I don’t know the first thing about drell erogenous zones, and I’m sure he’s not that interested in human ones either; man things were much simpler when I had panted after the lieutenant, even if my advances were thwarted. At least I would have known what to do with him if he had given me half a chance.

I step out of the elevator and into my quarters, the feeling of security instantaneous. No one to deal with up here, just me and these thoughts that won’t leave me in peace.

Is it possible to love an alien? Really love them, like I could another human being?

The door opens behind me and I turn, half surprised half angry at the unannounced visitor and I am face with the answer to that very question.

When I see Thane I know it’s true, I know it’s possible and when he smiles at me all thoughts of hallucinations and rashes rush from my mind and I know I would give anything, do anything to have his mouth on mine right now.

“Siha.” He says quietly “I wondered if you would like some company?”

Curiosity, I muse, is a wonderful thing, but dammit Shepard - don't you remember what it did to the cat?